This was first posted on Jul 30, ’09 3:14 PM as “Letting Go” on lalarimando.multiply.com.
I’ve always told my family that when I die I want to be cremated. Burn the body that I’ve hopefully made the most of. Hopefully I’ll be remembered not for my vanities but for my name. My legacy is my virtue.
Letting go is never easy. The first few days that my teeth were freed from my almost 4-year old braces, I missed the feel of metal against my lips. When I broke up with my first boyfriend, I mourned it for 5 years.
Parting can be a sweet sorrow or a necessary fool. The first time I lived outside the Philippines, I missed the chaos and craziness of Manila, a household help that picks up after my mess, and just the constant smiles. But after getting the hang of being on my own and was time to return, I missed the long walks, the pothole-free roads, and maps I could rely on to guide me from point A to B.
Technology somehow bridges the gap. My sister who lives oceans and mountains and 26-hour flight away is just a text or skype or facebook away. It was the same with a previous long distance relationship. The phone and internet, and all the technologies in between, killed any excuse not to keep in touch.
When we first broke the story that former President Cory Aquino was suffering from colon cancer, I made up my mind to let her go. Her strength and integrity as a person far overwhelms her shortcomings as a transition leader in the 80’s. She has lived a full life and her place in history is assured. She will always be my icon who helps me believe my nation does not only produce the Imeldas and Arroyos of this world.
Clinging on can have pros and cons. One year before stepping down, Arroyo made a boastful and spiteful speech that made me cringe. It was smack of fears of being a lame duck. Parting is a necessity, period.
Yet, I’ve seen people who hung on and have reaped the rewards. Couples who made real their marriage pact of staying together “through sickness and health, hunger and wealth….” made an impact on me. I have close friends who have decided to deal with their painful past, instead of relying on pills to numb them or retreating from the sane world. Their lives are living testimony that there has got to be more than an inner cheerleader.
Letting go is never easy when it’s a must. Clinging on is futile when it’s based on greed, but rewarding when based on faith.