Before Thursday

Thank you for the flowers

I’m scheduled to see my doctor on Thursday, August 15, 2013, a week after I went through laparoscopy. I’m supposed to give her an answer: yes or no.

Do I agree to her recommendation that she put me on medically-induced menopause (via GnRH Agonist or progesterone) to stop the remaining small traces of endometriosis left after the surgery from growing and causing me pain in the future?

Or do I say, ‘Let me have my regular period. I’ll strictly regulate my diet and make sure no estrogen-induced food or anything with sugar will ever enter my body again. Promise.’

Both have body chemical altering effect. I could sense being more emotionally sensitive and my temper was shorter since I changed my diet over a month ago. (Thankfully the gym exercises and yoga helped counter these.)

I’m more fearful of the changes from an abrupt menopause: mood swings, hot flushes, osteoporosis, the works.

I’m equally overwhelmed by the fact that I can “have my period back” when I want a baby. Whoa!

Geez, I just wanted Dra. Rebecca Singson-Zahar to get the 2-inch thingy out of my right ovary so it would stop leaking and causing adhesions, which had triggered almost monthly brutal pains for the past year.

I thought I prepared well for the operation — talked to 4 women who have gone thru similar operation; bought loose-fitting dresses (for post-op attire); scheduled tweets; bought a surgical girdle and peppermint tea to address pains due to CO2 injection (so my abdomen will rise and doctors can see my organs more with their instruments); prepared the team at work; worked out the hospital costs with the HMO and professional fees with my doctors including financing; and bought at least 5 new books, etc, etc. Obviously, I try to work on what I can control.

Before Thursday, I have to prepare for what I cannot.


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